Mary MacIntyre
Albuquerque Alternative Medicine Examiner
04/22/2010
Any parent can imagine the devastation when their teen suddenly dies from a stroke. More questions than answers will arise surrounding such a tragedy. According to the aol news story most of the obvious possibilities were ruled out. I have another longer list that may be considered, however in respect of the family, and her friends, that list won’t be added here. This article will focus on a comment made on that aol article, and support for the grieving family.
The short and simple, Gardasil the vaccine some states are making mandatory for young teens to receive. This vaccine that is used to “prevent” cervical cancer (one of the easiest treated cancers) has a long list of side effects, including stroke. Visit the website and links. If you have a preteen or teenage daughter, please research thoroughly in advance. I give thanks that someone posed that question.
No matter the cause of the stroke, those left behind carry a heavy burden. All members of the family and community are effected. Grieving parents may unkowingly push siblings away. Guilt and sorrow pose as close bedfellows. Parents still have to move forward to keep the family together. Stress is extremely high.
For a short time an intense amount of attention will be focused on the family, and seemingly as quickly the news story will become past. The family subsequently may experience greater depression, loneliness, and anger. Often parents divorce, children have less comfort, and much anguish can turn to new problems. As grieving is a long process, and everyone is vulnerable, the road forward may be vulnerable and cumbersome.
If you are ever in this situation, here are a few thoughts about how to proceed.
- Sit down together within 3 weeks, and make a few plans and committments (if possible).
- Acknowledge that everyone shares feeling guilty, although no one really is.
- Create a forgiving prayer. Each family member needs to add a line. Post this prayer where anyone can read it often. Everyone get forgiven, no exceptions.
- Plan for some time off and alone time. Perhaps Mom won’t work for three weeks. This includes all work at home. The Dad gets three weeks off. Each family member has some time away from the world, whilst other members pick up their slack.
- Crying is allowed. Whenever.
- Visit with your clergy as needed
- Have counselling, particularly family therapy.
- Plan events together even if it is a one to one starting 4-6 weeks after the funeral.
- Affirm that you love one another often and as needed.
- Add to the list.
I send prayers to all families who share such grief. May blessings flow upon you, and strength and faith dwell within your hearts.
I send prayers to all families who share such grief. May blessings flow upon you, and strength and faith dwell within your hearts.